Am I a stupid and noob student, or person, useless friend?

I know that since this 20th century, the loser will always lose and lose dao cant make the turnover to the winner..this is the truth and it had been continuously till now..So we can see that the weak people always being bully by other people who had more power then him..how pity this type of guys..or person..hmm...I think I am this type of person..because what I am thinking right now maybe or probably just my stupid and lousy thinking..coz I am doing assignment with my group mate, but I just looking them find the source and continue to do it..But then, I just keep look for the source for doing the assignment..haiz..what a slowly de me..So I come out with this answer that I am a bodoh and no use people lo..likes others thing as well..

I think I am useless lo..compare to my group mate and friends..haiz...cant or mostly dunno how to helping them in assignment or other things..Just know how to skip class a..playing games.somemore..I being sienz d with this kind of life and myself..But I just dunno how to improve my knowledge...this is the improtant point..As we know that without inglish language..you cant go as far as you wan ..like London or America..Lian the nearest the country also cant go likes Singapura..their country's inglish language very tough and tim then Malaysia lo..hmm..I got think to release all. Means that I dun wan to study for now..but cant coz i already using my aunt de money for my whole foundation and the 1st sem of degree..I really make her disappointed lo..I think..But I suddenly din have the mood to study or doing what thing in this kampar..suddenly wanna go back home, my hometown find my friends and stay at there for a while..think properly what actually should I want de..For now, my brain totally cant think well and blank..I wanna said sorry to my aunt and my father and all my friends lo..Even though I am as their 'Tai lou', But as what I think that I am not a good tai lou and even not suitable to being their tai lou..coz maybe my age was bigger than them 2 years old..so they treat me as them tai lou..

I am glad to be their tai lou, but that..but when I think back, I definitely not suitable and bu pei to be their tai lou..my attitude cant be a tai lou becoz I cant take a good decision for them and cant solve some important things or question together even the smallest 1...like giving friends some advise..others...haiz..how a lousy and noob tai lou ..not like lip yan, ck, or kit yuan which were more suitable than me lo..hope that we can be a forever friends la...I will miss you all..do it well o guys..you all can de..I know and confirm ah!!!

Ok la..my brain cant think much le..
To be continue....

我真的受伤了。

Today is 6/11, friday of my third week d..Yesterday I finally skip a class and that class which I most hate in this sem..definitely din like that class..Mostly of the classmate are not that fun at all..maybe is me overthinking le..But overall I am not satisfied with them..Haiz..the other thing is I very bad lo...ya, got A friend tell me not my fault d after he heard my story.But I also considering is my fault because bring them skip the class too..I know they were wanna attend the class de especially ah Zhi, I can see that he din wan to skip that class de..Haiz..but..I bring him follow me skip the class..haiz..feel very quilty la..If I alone skip, I din feel anything..but now is got two and good student follow me this quite bad de student skip class lo..T.Tmy fault ....my fault...sorry ...

The other thing is I cant figure out that what is love? what is likes? what is friendship? Is something happen to me?Since the end of the sem 1...these feeling like already gone le...somewhere else..Haiz..I also dunno la..I very confused now!! Now I am living in this world with my body which without my soul..How can I find this feeling again...???Seems almost my life was too simple and boring le..When my moral lecture Mr .Muthu teach about a theory call Prinsip Kewajipan which pengasasnya was Immanuel Kant...Follow what him said, when you straight do the thing with condition and without considering, and you were successfully doing it..you were bermoral..Since that content come out, I suddenly think back to myself,thats also true for me which I am a person who tidak bermoral follow this theory..because I as a student, but din study well and my life at kampar was sometimes down sometimes up...haiz..till now also din got the mood to study well. Eventhough I got make my mind up d..before...but also cant make it at the end..

Maybe I din suitable to study at all or not the study kaki lo...what have said by my father before..when I was small, I and my younger sister study at the same primary and secondary school..During that period, I was more lazy compare to my sister..coz she was very hardworking lo..And at all the time my brain was blank de..which din have any target..so just follow what my friends did..and I study hard also just because of the exam..coz I think that I dun wan to be discriminate by other people..which my relative and my parent..so I continue study untill now...I m glad that I can study till University..and I din think that I can make it too...So during waiting the spm result coming, I work and think that am I suitable to study again or just come out study..This was being my question at that time..Everyday also will thinking when I am free..

When I receive the spm result, the result was ok and satisfied..for me la..coz I am a lazy person lo..somemore a average or below average student..so 1 day my aunt ask me about my spm result, when she heard it, she got ask me wanna study at which school..University?, stpm? or college? So I continue working while I am thinking the school also...Lastly I follow what aunt said study stpm 1st coz since I have no target..When at stpm, that was my very bad attitude come out lo..sleeping at class, always going out with friends, playing games,dota,..somemore others entertainment..Haiz..when thinking back, I was very bad and naughty lo..coz I 辜负了 my father and my aunt every month got sponsor me the monthly fees..Finally, I finish and at the end, I was taking a bad result of all my other big big exam..just 1.22 of 4..After that, I was continue at back to kl at work..

Lastly, after I discuss with my aunt that she wanna support me to study university..that will be fun for me coz having the student life again...and I got think before that can knowing many new friends..hehe...very stupid hor me..haha...hmm..but that is was i think before. Before coming to Utar..and knowing lip yan them these good friends..Now at kampar le..without my aunt control..I had become more lazy le..and I got think that make myself a target for making me continue studying..but till now Year 1 sem 2 le..also din have...so I was very sad lo..I think I wanna quit to study before and many many times le..but my hometown friends which study at Inti now said get a cert is better than working early which you can earning many money at this kind of age..coz later can make a big money lo..when you got cert.. Since he saying like that...and thats was true too..so I continue to study at university..haiz..

The important of a Honour

Today is our week 3 of this sem d..time had been walking so fast..without sense..hmm..Today got good thing and bad thing..that is my one friend is coming back..from kl and sarawak...hee..is a wonderful thing..bad thing are two quiz of japanese have to face by later afternoon..Haiz..For japanese quiz, I still not that fear of it..perhaps try to make it the best of my all of the exam..coz I very like this subject..Since secondary school d..It was very nice coz I and my malay friend who also like japanese de..learn together..hehe..by asking other people..then, keep it as a knowledge..But unfortunately..I thought I wont use this language in the future much..So I din't learn it after that..then slowly slowly...I forget all the japanese vocalbury..When I think back now, I was a bit regret..why din take it as my new language beside kantonise, english, malay, and chinese..But nevermind I will do it well this subject de..^^

Talk to My Title today...Am I a person who like to loss the honour??I also dunno..Some of my friend think me that I am that kind of person.It is true.coz..I am a person who easily like to join any event with my friends..so when they are got any event wanna do..I also will say ON!!!hehe..That's my attitude lo..Lol..Maybe it was true ba..for my this kind of attitude..I also dunno now..I try to make myself dun ever to loss the honour to my friends..So my friends will think me is that kind of person..SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY o...I feel very sorry that I got being such that loss of honour..Actually I also din't like to loss it..but Dunno why sometimes I just cant make it good..Is the bad things coz of my loss of honour, I will feel paise and quilty of that incident..

Maybe for some people..that a loss of honour is a common thing le..so they were not ever ever ever look it as a important thing, eventhough something was happened to others people, they will asking the situation of that person, and then after that treat it as a normal situation back le..Haiz...I also sienz d...I think the people who always loss the honour by other people will be angry lo..coz..already say le..wanna join together but last minute din come or din appear in front of that friend..make him/her waiting for a empty meaningless de day...when that thing happened, that friend sure will be mad..and he/she will be not trust you or ask you to join them anymore...Haiz...paise ya.I am quite dizzy d...so got anything I simply said de..very sorry..I also dunno wanna say wat le..

Hmm...So now may I ask you back...that you wanna do a honour person or always FFK de people?? If for me, I will not to be the FFk ppl lo...So what was your's decision?hope you all can think carefully o..So do I..hehe..^^