Today is 6/11, friday of my third week d..Yesterday I finally skip a class and that class which I most hate in this sem..definitely din like that class..Mostly of the classmate are not that fun at all..maybe is me overthinking le..But overall I am not satisfied with them..Haiz..the other thing is I very bad lo...ya, got A friend tell me not my fault d after he heard my story.But I also considering is my fault because bring them skip the class too..I know they were wanna attend the class de especially ah Zhi, I can see that he din wan to skip that class de..Haiz..but..I bring him follow me skip the class..haiz..feel very quilty la..If I alone skip, I din feel anything..but now is got two and good student follow me this quite bad de student skip class lo..T.Tmy fault ....my fault...sorry ...
The other thing is I cant figure out that what is love? what is likes? what is friendship? Is something happen to me?Since the end of the sem 1...these feeling like already gone le...somewhere else..Haiz..I also dunno la..I very confused now!! Now I am living in this world with my body which without my soul..How can I find this feeling again...???Seems almost my life was too simple and boring le..When my moral lecture Mr .Muthu teach about a theory call Prinsip Kewajipan which pengasasnya was Immanuel Kant...Follow what him said, when you straight do the thing with condition and without considering, and you were successfully doing it..you were bermoral..Since that content come out, I suddenly think back to myself,thats also true for me which I am a person who tidak bermoral follow this theory..because I as a student, but din study well and my life at kampar was sometimes down sometimes up...haiz..till now also din got the mood to study well. Eventhough I got make my mind up d..before...but also cant make it at the end..
Maybe I din suitable to study at all or not the study kaki lo...what have said by my father before..when I was small, I and my younger sister study at the same primary and secondary school..During that period, I was more lazy compare to my sister..coz she was very hardworking lo..And at all the time my brain was blank de..which din have any target..so just follow what my friends did..and I study hard also just because of the exam..coz I think that I dun wan to be discriminate by other people..which my relative and my parent..so I continue study untill now...I m glad that I can study till University..and I din think that I can make it too...So during waiting the spm result coming, I work and think that am I suitable to study again or just come out study..This was being my question at that time..Everyday also will thinking when I am free..
When I receive the spm result, the result was ok and satisfied..for me la..coz I am a lazy person lo..somemore a average or below average student..so 1 day my aunt ask me about my spm result, when she heard it, she got ask me wanna study at which school..University?, stpm? or college? So I continue working while I am thinking the school also...Lastly I follow what aunt said study stpm 1st coz since I have no target..When at stpm, that was my very bad attitude come out lo..sleeping at class, always going out with friends, playing games,dota,..somemore others entertainment..Haiz..when thinking back, I was very bad and naughty lo..coz I 辜负了 my father and my aunt every month got sponsor me the monthly fees..Finally, I finish and at the end, I was taking a bad result of all my other big big exam..just 1.22 of 4..After that, I was continue at back to kl at work..
Lastly, after I discuss with my aunt that she wanna support me to study university..that will be fun for me coz having the student life again...and I got think before that can knowing many new friends..hehe...very stupid hor me..haha...hmm..but that is was i think before. Before coming to Utar..and knowing lip yan them these good friends..Now at kampar le..without my aunt control..I had become more lazy le..and I got think that make myself a target for making me continue studying..but till now Year 1 sem 2 le..also din have...so I was very sad lo..I think I wanna quit to study before and many many times le..but my hometown friends which study at Inti now said get a cert is better than working early which you can earning many money at this kind of age..coz later can make a big money lo..when you got cert.. Since he saying like that...and thats was true too..so I continue to study at university..haiz..
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